moving on..

me again (iya lah.. kalo gg gue, who else? -__________-)!
I want to post this posting as soon as possible; reminding that I face this problem EVERYDAY.

My main problem is.. I'm haunted with my parents' terror that I must transfer to my 'spare' high school, where I spent my junior high time. And I know that they have tried any ways, any arguments, or any mistakes either from me or smandel itself. Well, I chose smandel for my high school because I want to face new circumstances, new environment, new friends (even though I also met some of my elementary and junior high buddies), new challenges and so on. But every day, if I make a single mistake such as I'm easily to be forgotten, my mother always said "You lack of reading Holy Qur'an everyday. Don't NF always used to read 4 pages of Holy Qur'an everyday? You better go back there."

OH MY GOD IT'S KINDA WORST, SILLY SENTENCE THAT I'VE EVER HEARD. No, I'm not blaming the routinities to read Holy Qur'an everyday. But I blamed that she always blame every mistakes that I've done because of that. Well human never escaped from mistakes right? And her biggest mistake is she always do in the name of Qur'an, and also she never realised herself either. That's what I don't like hate from her. She told me these and that, but she never pay attention to herself. She read Qur'an everyday, doesn't do anything in her spare time excep for these activity, but never applicated it in her daily life. Such as in Surah an-Nur verse 31

24:31 And say to the believing women that they lower their gaze and restrain their sexual passions and do not display their adornment except what appears thereof. And let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms. And they should not display their adornment except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or guileless male servants, or the children who know not women’s nakedness. And let them not strike their feet so that the adornment that they hide may be known. And turn to Allah all, O believers, so that you may be successful.

Surat An-Nur: 30-31

"Katakanlah kepada orang-orang laki-laki yang beriman "Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya; yang demikian itu adalah lebih suci bagi mereka, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui, apa yang mereka perbuat." "Katakanlah kepada wanita yang beriman :"Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya dan memelihara kemaluannya, kecuali yang (biasa) nampak dari padanya. Dan hendaklah mereka menutupkan kain kudung ke dadanya dan janganlah menampakkan perhiasannya, kecuali kepada suami mereka, atau ayah mereka, atau ayah suami mereka, atau putera-putera mereka, putera-putera suami mereka, atau saudara-saudara laki-laki mereka, putera-putera saudara laki-laki mereka, atau putera-putera saudara perempuan mereka, atau wanita-wanita Islam, atau budak-budak yang mereka miliki, atau pelayan-pelayan laki-laki yang tidak mempunyai keinginan (terhadap wanita), atau anak-anak yang belum mengerti tentang aurat wanita. Dan janganlah mereka meukulkan kakinya agar diketahui perhiasan yang mereka sembunyikan. Dan bertaubatlah kamu sekalian kepada Allah, hai orang-orang yang beriman supaya kamu beruntung."

See? She almost never do these order, except for several people like my Qur'an recite tutors. Especially for those boldies.

I always tried to be istiqomah, to be myself as I used to be in NF. But my parents always see me in different way. Well, maybe because I'm so introverted. I've ever didn't call my parents in 2 months because I don't have any duties or importance to be talked to my parents. I'm not kinda cry baby or mommy's kid that can tell everything about how's school, or your crush, etc. I'm kinda cool, doesn't like to tell anybody about my problems. I'd like to keep it, then forgot it. And because of my school was a boarding school, they don't know anything about my activities there. They don't know that I liked to hide my earphone under my veil and hear mp3 along the school time. They don't know that I liked to forgot easily, spoke wrongly. So, if I had that 'horrible' habits in my junior high, who should be blamed here?

But after I enjoy 7-month-high-school-life, I found that my friends at smandel are much more religious than some of my junior high friends. Without experiencing boarding school life, they know that they have to cover their adornment perfectly (I've ever being told to lower my veil by my friend). They know that they should pray dhuha everyday. Moreover and the most shocking, they know some religion knowledges than I never know! And when I met some of my junior high buddies, some of them have took off their veils, or make it shorter than she wore in past. But not all of them are bad either (but I rarely find my buddies that still istiqomah with those long veil, skirt, and socks).

So, from my experience, should I transfer school? Leave some comments. Thank you for reading my horrible scribbles, but that's what I hold on lately.